I AM - Turning 50 and the most significant truth so far - with Andrew Lord

9th March 2026

Today is a pretty significant milestone!

We are at our 50th episode.

I’m really proud of reaching this mark, and as a theme for the big 5-0, I thought I’d share some reflections on my recent birthday: turning 50 years old and the breakdown awakening that went with it.

Adventure on Steroids

To celebrate, I planned an epic weekend with my family. I’m inspired by nature and challenges, so I put together a plan that my kids later described as "Adventure Quest on steroids." We headed to the Blue Mountains for hiking and waterfalls, then into Sydney for the Harbour Bridge Climb at twilight, and finally camping out on Cockatoo Island in the middle of Sydney Harbour.

I had this vision of a perfect, "multi-million dollar view" sunset from the top of the bridge and a seamless family experience. But as the weekend unfolded, reality started to look very different from the plan.

The "Disappointment"

If you’ve been to the Blue Mountains in the fog, you know that "foggy" is an understatement. It was white everywhere. We stood at a lookout where you're supposed to have one of the most epic views in the world, and we couldn't see more than 50 metres. Then came the rain.

As we moved through the weekend—the rain pouring during our bridge climb, the stress of logistics with a family of seven, and eventually running late to meet my sister who had travelled all the way from Japan—I felt this heavy feeling rising in my heart.

The Voice in the Thunder

In a dreamlike state I was still processing the events of the last few days, and on a stretcher in a tent on Cockatoo Island, I heard a rumble of thunder that triggered a cascade of semi-conscious thoughts... Maybe the disappoint comes from me? Maybe I am shaping the world right now? Maybe I create disappointment - not because of a mindset or attitude, but because at the core of my being... I AM a disappointment. 😳

A New Identity for a New Chapter

That feeling stuck with me. It was weeks of processing to eventually shake it off. Actually it was a divine revelation that broke the idea that had taken root in my soul. The prompt came from a friend - Terry Powers - who asked a powerful question. "Was Jesus ever a disappointment" - which of course he was, to his followers and the people of that time who were expecting something (or someone) entirely different. And then he dies! It seems like he'd let everyone down... But I also realised, that before all that, God had declared, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am WELL PLEASED! There isn't a more contradictory phrase for disappointment than that! And THAT was the identity that I began to truly realise.

My Challenge to You

If you take any action from this episode, let it be this: Grab a notebook. Turn the page sideways (a little subconscious trick for lateral thinking!) and write "I AM" in the middle.

Start to unpack what follows those words for you. Not the roles you fill or the things you do, but who you are at your core.

I am loved. I am worthy. I am a gift.

I’d love to hear what comes up for you.